My book, Woman Beautiful could have easily been subtitled, Becoming A Godly Woman In A Ungodly World -- it's the challenge every Christian woman faces. In a recent conversation, my daughter, Whitney, and I were discussing the critical spirit that so many women have embraced. Harshness, impatience, frustration, and criticism dominate most days and many women lay their heads down at night only to grieve over their reactions to daily life. It breaks our hearts to come face-to-face with the way we've spoken to our precious and innocent children; realizing the hurt we've caused them and ourselves by our thoughts and attitudes is sometimes more discouraging then the stress of everyday life.
Just in the past few months God has set me free from these same death bringing behaviors. I say death because carelessly spoken words bring death to such things as childhood development; invitations to parental involvement; and death to the dreams our children have been given by God. Not to mention death to love, acceptance, approval and the list goes on. Destructive speech is not only limited to women and their children but also to their marriage relationship, work space, women's groups and more. I call this aspect of beauty "Relational Beauty."
The first relationship that needs to be attended to is woman's relationship with the LORD. Apart from Him there is no lasting change. I have walked intimately with God for many years now. Yet, and thankfully, I am still a diamond in the rough. A little less rough, but rough nonetheless. I believe that one of the reasons we are still so rough is that we are guilty of being discontent with the lives that we seem to be having to live. For many of us it is certainly not the life we thought we were standing in line for. Let me explain. I, like many of you, had been taken captive by feelings of hurt; hurt caused by the behavior of the man that I love. Or, perhaps you don't have a man in your life, therefore you manage all areas of your life, alone. Maybe you're raising your grandchildren and feel as if you've already been there and done that. You know that your grand babies need you, yet there are those days that you would really enjoy the freedom to do the things that you put on hold while you reared your own children. Maybe you don't have a husband and you don't have children or gandchildren. Perhpas you are single and simply believe that God has dealth with you somewhat unjustly. The demands, discouragement and disappointments that each of these relationships create in a woman's life are sometimes more stressful than we can manage on our own. This is why I know that our relationship with God is so absolutely vital! He alone can take the crooked road and make it straight.
I cringe every time I hear a mother talk harshly to her child. I was, and still am if I don't wait on the Lord, that mom who jumped over the real emotion, which was usually fear, and landed...splat... right in the middle of anger! It is heartbreaking to me because immediate hurt can be seen in the child's countenance. Little by little a child's joy and innocence slowly die. Sadly, for many children, this form of verbal harshness is the family norm.
Another more subtle form of death is that of husband bashing. This method of causing death is typical office talk for many women. Being frustrated because of having to work a full time job, cook, clean house and raise the children seemingly by herself makes very fertile ground for bitterness and resentment. Back-stabbing women in the work place add heaps of hurt to an already wounded spirit by down talking men and by coming into agreement with the one who is hurting -- offering insults, blurting out..."I wouldn't put up with that!", and making comments on how pitiful he is. What many of us don't know and understand is that we all have similar hurts. Most marriages are not picture perfect. Rather than being offended by or jealous of one another, therefore wanting to see another marriage fail, we need to be supportive and encouraging toward one another.
Women everywhere go through the day to day tasks of living...alone. Not realizing that their singlehood is a gift from God, they are consumed with wanting someone to enjoy life with.
In order to be either supportive or encouraging, a woman has to know who she is in Christ. Apart from Him she will be disappointed and discouraged -- daily! Yes, we are afforded the opportunity to be offended every day. That offense will cause us to be short tempered, mouthy, insensitive, self-centered, self-serving and the list goes on. It is up to us to make the decision to be loving, kind and soft -- the way God created us.
Females have been created with and in femininity -- gentleness, kindness, tenderness; expressing compassion, extending grace. But, when an ungodly world crashes in on us...every day...our soft, tender and gentle femininity morphs into this really unattractive monster who's in need of some form of control. The need for control, because we are female, causes us to take on the role that was rightly given to men by God -- the role of authority and masculinity. Our voice gets louder and deeper. We make strange and intimidating facial expressions and we issue sarcastic and often times unrealistic demands on the little people around us. Little being both children and others we view as less or lower than, ourselves. The crazy thing is, we really don't want to be the authority. We don't want to be in control. Women, moreso than men, know that control equals responsibility and accountability. We delight in passing on that! What we really want is to be extended grace in order that we can become the beautiful woman that God created us to be. That woman really is a very loving and gentle spirited female. She gives endlessly without regret or frustration for being taken for granted. If we women had our ruthers, we would rather be the amazing feminine of God on every occasion; responding to the difficulties of life with kindness and grace. We would like to be well taken care of and given the opportunity to have a thriving, selfless, love-filled marriage, family, workplace and church. In being taken care of, we can then take care of those we love.
Now, to become a Godly woman in an ungodly world. 1) know the Truth - His name is Jesus! In knowing the Truth, you are set free, indeed! Free from the mannerism, sarcasm, and ridicule of the world -- the lost, and those who are saved but have never chosen to take on the identity of Christ. His identity is a choice that few believers make. 2) know who you are in Christ. You have been Divinely created. Before you were formed in your mamma's womb God knew you. You are fearfully and wonderfully made. You are the daughter of the Most High God. You are a joint heir with Jesus Christ. You are the head and not the tail. You are above and not beneath. You are valued and deeply loved by the Creator of the Universe. 3) know that God has given you the Holy Spirit as Comforter and as your Power Source. Ask for His sweet infilling -- watch what He does!
When Moses sent ten spies into the Promise Land, 8 came back defeated. God told the Israelites that He was giving them the Promise Land but they would have to go in and take it by force. The 8 saw the giant men and called themselves grasshoppers in comparison, saying they could not stand against the giant inhabitants. 2 spies came back shouting the victory. They knew that all things were (are) possible with God. Because God said the land was theirs and all they had to do was go in and take it they knew they warred from a position of victory. They knew God would fulfill His part of the promise. This is to be your shout every day -- the shout of victory! In doing so, you will take by force what God has already given you. You have overcome! 4) refuse to adapt to the world, rather you are to be transformed by the renewing of your mind. This renewing comes only by spending time in the word daily...studying Scripture, getting to know God better and learning to love Him more. 5) become intimate with God. Pray! Learn to recognize His voice. Believe His words. Trust Him. 6) be holy because God is holy. You are to be in the world but certainly not of the world. Take on the beauty or holiness of Almighty God. In doing this, the day will come when the ungodly muck of the world will be so unappealing to you that anytime your life reflects godlessness it will break your heart and conviction will be a welcomed affliction. Literally, the attitude, behavior, and sin of this world will become repulsive to you and the joy of the Lord, which is your strength, will override every fiery dart that Satan and the lost world throws your way. And lastly, 7) deliberately befriend high-caliber Christians. Search out women whom you know are growing in the Lord, who strive everyday to live a life pleasing to Him and who spend time regularly in personal Bible study and prayer. You will easily recognize their Godly lives -- they will look the same in their home, church, workplace, and other public venues. And you will see the attributes and character of Christ in them.
Again, here are the 7 aspects to becoming a Godly woman in an ungodly world:
1) Know the Truth - Jesus,
2) Know who you are in Christ - daughter of the Most High God, joint heir with Jesus,
3) Receive the Holy Spirit's supernatural infilling - surrender your all,
4) Refuse to adapt to the world - be transformed by the renewing of your mind - know the Word.
5) Become intimate with God - pray.
6) Be Holy - because God is holy, and
7) Hang-out with high caliber Christians.
Bask in the beauty of Almighty God. It's in Him that you are Woman Beautiful!
Love and Blessings, Amanda
I cringe every time I hear a mother talk harshly to her child. I was, and still am if I don't wait on the Lord, that mom who jumped over the real emotion, which was usually fear, and landed...splat... right in the middle of anger! It is heartbreaking to me because immediate hurt can be seen in the child's countenance. Little by little a child's joy and innocence slowly die. Sadly, for many children, this form of verbal harshness is the family norm.
Another more subtle form of death is that of husband bashing. This method of causing death is typical office talk for many women. Being frustrated because of having to work a full time job, cook, clean house and raise the children seemingly by herself makes very fertile ground for bitterness and resentment. Back-stabbing women in the work place add heaps of hurt to an already wounded spirit by down talking men and by coming into agreement with the one who is hurting -- offering insults, blurting out..."I wouldn't put up with that!", and making comments on how pitiful he is. What many of us don't know and understand is that we all have similar hurts. Most marriages are not picture perfect. Rather than being offended by or jealous of one another, therefore wanting to see another marriage fail, we need to be supportive and encouraging toward one another.
Women everywhere go through the day to day tasks of living...alone. Not realizing that their singlehood is a gift from God, they are consumed with wanting someone to enjoy life with.
In order to be either supportive or encouraging, a woman has to know who she is in Christ. Apart from Him she will be disappointed and discouraged -- daily! Yes, we are afforded the opportunity to be offended every day. That offense will cause us to be short tempered, mouthy, insensitive, self-centered, self-serving and the list goes on. It is up to us to make the decision to be loving, kind and soft -- the way God created us.
Females have been created with and in femininity -- gentleness, kindness, tenderness; expressing compassion, extending grace. But, when an ungodly world crashes in on us...every day...our soft, tender and gentle femininity morphs into this really unattractive monster who's in need of some form of control. The need for control, because we are female, causes us to take on the role that was rightly given to men by God -- the role of authority and masculinity. Our voice gets louder and deeper. We make strange and intimidating facial expressions and we issue sarcastic and often times unrealistic demands on the little people around us. Little being both children and others we view as less or lower than, ourselves. The crazy thing is, we really don't want to be the authority. We don't want to be in control. Women, moreso than men, know that control equals responsibility and accountability. We delight in passing on that! What we really want is to be extended grace in order that we can become the beautiful woman that God created us to be. That woman really is a very loving and gentle spirited female. She gives endlessly without regret or frustration for being taken for granted. If we women had our ruthers, we would rather be the amazing feminine of God on every occasion; responding to the difficulties of life with kindness and grace. We would like to be well taken care of and given the opportunity to have a thriving, selfless, love-filled marriage, family, workplace and church. In being taken care of, we can then take care of those we love.
Now, to become a Godly woman in an ungodly world. 1) know the Truth - His name is Jesus! In knowing the Truth, you are set free, indeed! Free from the mannerism, sarcasm, and ridicule of the world -- the lost, and those who are saved but have never chosen to take on the identity of Christ. His identity is a choice that few believers make. 2) know who you are in Christ. You have been Divinely created. Before you were formed in your mamma's womb God knew you. You are fearfully and wonderfully made. You are the daughter of the Most High God. You are a joint heir with Jesus Christ. You are the head and not the tail. You are above and not beneath. You are valued and deeply loved by the Creator of the Universe. 3) know that God has given you the Holy Spirit as Comforter and as your Power Source. Ask for His sweet infilling -- watch what He does!
When Moses sent ten spies into the Promise Land, 8 came back defeated. God told the Israelites that He was giving them the Promise Land but they would have to go in and take it by force. The 8 saw the giant men and called themselves grasshoppers in comparison, saying they could not stand against the giant inhabitants. 2 spies came back shouting the victory. They knew that all things were (are) possible with God. Because God said the land was theirs and all they had to do was go in and take it they knew they warred from a position of victory. They knew God would fulfill His part of the promise. This is to be your shout every day -- the shout of victory! In doing so, you will take by force what God has already given you. You have overcome! 4) refuse to adapt to the world, rather you are to be transformed by the renewing of your mind. This renewing comes only by spending time in the word daily...studying Scripture, getting to know God better and learning to love Him more. 5) become intimate with God. Pray! Learn to recognize His voice. Believe His words. Trust Him. 6) be holy because God is holy. You are to be in the world but certainly not of the world. Take on the beauty or holiness of Almighty God. In doing this, the day will come when the ungodly muck of the world will be so unappealing to you that anytime your life reflects godlessness it will break your heart and conviction will be a welcomed affliction. Literally, the attitude, behavior, and sin of this world will become repulsive to you and the joy of the Lord, which is your strength, will override every fiery dart that Satan and the lost world throws your way. And lastly, 7) deliberately befriend high-caliber Christians. Search out women whom you know are growing in the Lord, who strive everyday to live a life pleasing to Him and who spend time regularly in personal Bible study and prayer. You will easily recognize their Godly lives -- they will look the same in their home, church, workplace, and other public venues. And you will see the attributes and character of Christ in them.
Again, here are the 7 aspects to becoming a Godly woman in an ungodly world:
1) Know the Truth - Jesus,
2) Know who you are in Christ - daughter of the Most High God, joint heir with Jesus,
3) Receive the Holy Spirit's supernatural infilling - surrender your all,
4) Refuse to adapt to the world - be transformed by the renewing of your mind - know the Word.
5) Become intimate with God - pray.
6) Be Holy - because God is holy, and
7) Hang-out with high caliber Christians.
Bask in the beauty of Almighty God. It's in Him that you are Woman Beautiful!
Love and Blessings, Amanda
