Too often we find ourselves consumed with the guilt of past behavior: drugs, alcohol, sexual promiscuity, verbal, physical and sexual abuse, thievery, lies, harsh treatment of others, addictions, pornography, violence, broken relationships, gossip, lust and the list goes on.
As I write, I'm reminded of an incident in which I carried much guilt and perhaps even more shame -- I hadn't realized that until now. If I recall correctly I was about 13. A few friends of mine and I were participating in a local Walk-A-Thon. I believe we were raising money for cancer. One of the girls in our group, who was a couple of years younger than me, was a little thick and had a lazy eye. Even though she was the cousin to a good friend of mine, I really didn't know Donja; a young girl about to enter her teenage years who, unknown by me, suffered with a rare type of bone cancer. Donja's shiny brown hair fell just past her shoulders and the smile she wore very evidently conveyed the joy inside of her. Although our walk that day would take us the three miles from end of town to the other, you would have never known just how difficult that trek was for her.
A little way into our walk, one of the boys began to poke fun at Donja. Actually it wasn't fun at all. It was cruelty and even though it was behind her back, it was destructive all the same. I didn't hesitate to join in. Caught by surprise, my friend, Paula, turned around just in time to witness my contribution to the ugliness. Immediate guilt, shame and embarrassment set in and to this day I have never forgotten it -- Donja died just a few short months later. Over the years my heart has ached every time I've thought about that day. I could have loved on her. I could have encouraged her on in the walk. I could have treated her with kindness and respect. I could have...but I did not.
I've been told that to let go of the guilt is a difficult thing to do. I believe it! My story, compared to that of others is perhaps small and insignificant, but full of shame nonetheless. Isn't that what guilt is? Shame in disguise. Merriam Webster says that shame is a painful emotion caused by consciousness of guilt; something that brings strong regret, censure or reproach.
God certainly has a different plan for the inappropriate behavior that we, often by choice, participate in. Romans 8:1 says, "Therefore there is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus." The reason Christ died is to deliver us from the penalty of our sin(s); to relieve us from the guilt and shame thereof and to cleanse us of all unrighteousness. Because of His death and resurrection, we are automatically forgiven of all of our past, present and future sins. Those we participated in by choice and those that were forced upon us. When Christ said, "It is finished," He literally meant that the consequences of sin had been paid for in full and therefore completely forgiven. God holds them against us no more. There is no reason for us to live in the aftermath of our sin -- guilt.
You might be wondering by now just how it is that you still feel so guilty? One of two truths has taken place and I cringe as I think of what I am about to say. You have either not accepted God's amazing grace full of love and forgiveness or...you have not forgiven yourself. God loves you so much that He gave His only Son so that if you will believe in Him you will receive forgiveness and everlasting life. This is the most profound truth that you and I will ever embrace. God Almighty, the Creator of the universe has forgiven all of your past, present and future sins. And He longs to be intimate with you. Won't you invite Jesus into your life today. (There's a prayer at the bottom of this blog post that will lead you into relationship with Him.)
The later truth, not forgiving yourself, brings sadness to my heart. If the God of the universe can forgive you, then who are you not to forgive yourself. I say this not to add insult to the injury you already carry but to help you see the omnipotent (all powerful) love of God. He is majestic and holy. He is righteous and just. He is absolutely flawless. He is all knowing and all present. He knows the number of hairs on your head. He knows your coming in and your going out; your lying down and rising up; He knows all there is to know about you and He loves you unconditionally. If He can forgive you, shouldn't you forgive yourself?
How? First, if you've never asked Christ to be your Lord and Savior, do so now. His healing will begin immediately. Second, the Bible says, "Confess your sins and He will be faithful and just to forgive your sins and to cleanse you of all unrighteousness," (1 John 1:9). The goodness of God never ceases to amaze me when it comes to His forgiveness and healing power -- an out loud confession brings wonderful changes to any (wo)man's heart and mind. And third, let Romans 8:28 take root in your heart. "And we know that God causes all things to work together for the good of those who love God, to those who are called according to His purpose." When you asked Jesus to be your Lord and Savior, God called you into His purpose. You now have the wonderful privilege of working out your faith which will in turn bring understanding to God's purpose for your life. In that purpose you will find a full measure of joy. And I know that immediately upon praying this prayer, you began to sense the "difference" that He is already making in your life. Your love for Him can only escalate!
Woman Beautiful, I hope that you will dump the guilt that Satan has tried relentlessly to keep you in bondage to. Believe the report of the Lord, God will turn all of your pain and shame into something beautiful for Him. And, all of your past sin will be worked beautifully, miraculously, for your good and...the good of many others.
Love and Blessings, Amanda
Father, God in heaven, thank You for giving Your Son as the payment for my sins. He did die on a cross and He was buried but three days later You raised Him to life again. Jesus, come into my life, be my Lord and my Savior. Fill me with Your Holy Spirit. You alone have delivered me from the guilt and the shame of my past. And You alone give me everlasting life. Thank you. Live in and through me today and everyday. I give my life wholly to You. In Jesus' name I pray. Amen. Amen!
