Becoming A Godly Woman In A Ungodly World

My book, Woman Beautiful could have easily been subtitled, Becoming A Godly Woman In A Ungodly World -- it's the challenge every Christian woman faces. In a recent conversation, my daughter, Whitney, and I were discussing the critical spirit that so many women have embraced. Harshness, impatience, frustration, and criticism dominate most days and many women lay their heads down at night only to grieve over their reactions to daily life. It breaks our hearts to come face-to-face with the way we've spoken to our precious and innocent children; realizing the hurt we've caused them and ourselves by our thoughts and attitudes is sometimes more discouraging then the stress of everyday life.  

     Just in the past few months God has set me free from these same death bringing behaviors. I say death because carelessly spoken words bring death to such things as childhood  development; invitations to parental involvement; and death to the dreams our children have been given by God. Not to mention death to love, acceptance, approval and the list goes on. Destructive speech is not only limited to women and their children but also to their marriage relationship, work space, women's groups and more. I call this aspect of beauty "Relational Beauty."

     The first relationship that needs to be attended to is woman's relationship with the LORD. Apart from Him there is no lasting change. I have walked intimately with God for many years now. Yet, and thankfully, I am still a diamond in the rough. A little less rough, but rough nonetheless. I believe that one of the reasons we are still so rough is that we are guilty of being discontent with the lives that we seem to be having to live. For many of us it is certainly not the life we thought we were standing in line for. Let me explain. I, like many of you, had been taken captive by feelings of hurt; hurt caused by the behavior of the man that I love. Or, perhaps you don't have a man in your life, therefore you manage all areas of your life, alone. Maybe you're raising your grandchildren and feel as if you've already been there and done that. You know that your grand babies need you, yet there are those days that you would really enjoy the freedom to do the things that you put on hold while you reared your own children. Maybe you don't have a husband and you don't have children or gandchildren. Perhpas you are single and simply believe that God has dealth with you somewhat unjustly. The demands, discouragement and disappointments that each of these relationships create in a woman's life are sometimes more stressful than we can manage on our own. This is why I know that our relationship with God is so absolutely vital! He alone can take the crooked road and make it straight.
     I cringe every time I hear a mother talk harshly to her child. I was, and still am if I don't wait on the Lord, that mom who jumped over the real emotion, which was usually fear, and landed...splat... right in the middle of anger! It is heartbreaking to me because immediate hurt can be seen in the child's countenance. Little by little a child's joy and innocence slowly die. Sadly, for many children, this form of verbal harshness is the family norm.
     Another more subtle form of death is that of husband bashing. This method of causing death is typical office talk for many women. Being frustrated because of having to work a full time job, cook, clean house and raise the children seemingly by herself makes very fertile ground for bitterness and resentment. Back-stabbing women in the work place add heaps of hurt to an already wounded spirit by down talking men and by coming into agreement with the one who is hurting -- offering insults, blurting out..."I wouldn't put up with that!", and making comments on how pitiful he is. What many  of us don't know and understand is that we all have similar hurts. Most marriages are not picture perfect. Rather than being offended by or jealous of one another, therefore wanting to see another marriage fail,  we need to be supportive and encouraging toward one another.
     Women everywhere go through the day to day tasks of living...alone. Not realizing that their singlehood is a gift from God, they are consumed with wanting someone to enjoy life with.   
     In order to be either supportive or encouraging, a woman has to know who she is in Christ. Apart from Him she will be disappointed and discouraged -- daily! Yes, we are afforded the opportunity to be offended every day. That offense will cause us to be short tempered, mouthy, insensitive, self-centered, self-serving and the list goes on. It is up to us to make the decision to be loving, kind and soft -- the way God created us. 
     Females have been created with and in femininity -- gentleness, kindness, tenderness; expressing compassion, extending grace. But, when an ungodly world crashes in on us...every day...our soft, tender and gentle femininity morphs into this really unattractive monster who's in need of some form of control. The need for control, because we are female, causes us to take on the role that was rightly given to men by God -- the role of authority and masculinity. Our voice gets louder and deeper. We make strange and intimidating facial expressions and we issue sarcastic and often times unrealistic demands on the little people around us. Little being both children and others we view as less or lower than, ourselves. The crazy thing is, we really don't want to be the authority. We don't want to be in control. Women, moreso than men, know that control equals responsibility and accountability. We delight in passing on that! What we really want is to be extended grace in order that we can become the beautiful woman that God created us to be. That woman really is a very loving and gentle spirited female. She gives endlessly without regret or frustration for being taken for granted. If we women had our ruthers, we would rather be the amazing feminine of God on every occasion; responding to the difficulties of life with kindness and grace. We would like to be well taken care of and given the opportunity to have a thriving, selfless, love-filled marriage, family, workplace and church. In being taken care of, we can then take care of those we love.
     Now, to become a Godly woman in an ungodly world. 1) know the Truth - His name is Jesus! In knowing the Truth, you are set free, indeed! Free from the mannerism, sarcasm, and ridicule of the world -- the lost, and those who are saved but have never chosen to take on the identity of Christ. His identity is a choice that few believers make. 2) know who you are in Christ. You have been Divinely created. Before you were formed in your mamma's womb God knew you. You are fearfully and wonderfully made. You are the daughter of the Most High God. You are a joint heir with Jesus Christ. You are the head and not the tail. You are above and not beneath. You are valued and deeply loved by the Creator of the Universe. 3) know that God has given you the Holy Spirit as Comforter and as your Power Source. Ask for His sweet infilling -- watch what He does!  
     When Moses sent ten spies into the Promise Land, 8 came back defeated. God told the Israelites that He was giving them the Promise Land but they would have to go in and take it by force. The 8 saw the giant men and called themselves grasshoppers in comparison, saying they could not stand against the giant inhabitants. 2 spies came back shouting the victory. They knew that all things were (are) possible with God. Because God said the land was theirs and all they had to do was go in and take it they knew they warred from a position of victory. They knew God would fulfill His part of the promise. This is to be your shout every day -- the shout of victory! In doing so, you will take by force what God has already given you. You have overcome! 4) refuse to adapt to the world, rather you are to be transformed by the renewing of your mind. This renewing comes only by spending time in the word daily...studying Scripture, getting to know God better and learning to love Him more. 5) become intimate with God. Pray! Learn to recognize His voice. Believe His words. Trust Him. 6) be holy because God is holy. You are to be in the world but certainly not of the world. Take on the beauty or holiness of Almighty God. In doing this, the day will come when the ungodly muck of the world will be so unappealing to you that anytime your life reflects godlessness it will break your heart and conviction will be a welcomed affliction. Literally, the attitude, behavior, and sin of this world will become repulsive to you and the joy of the Lord, which is your strength, will override every fiery dart that Satan and the lost world throws your way. And lastly, 7) deliberately befriend high-caliber Christians. Search out women whom you know are growing in the Lord, who strive everyday to live a life pleasing to Him and who spend time regularly in personal Bible study and prayer. You will easily recognize their Godly lives -- they will look the same in their home, church, workplace, and other public venues. And you will see the attributes and character of Christ in them.     
     Again, here are the 7 aspects to becoming a Godly woman in an ungodly world:
     1) Know the Truth - Jesus,
     2) Know who you are in Christ - daughter of the Most High God, joint heir with Jesus,
     3) Receive the Holy Spirit's supernatural infilling - surrender your all,
     4) Refuse to adapt to the world - be transformed by the renewing of your mind - know the Word.
     5) Become intimate with God - pray.
     6) Be Holy - because God is holy, and
     7) Hang-out with high caliber Christians.
     Bask in the beauty of Almighty God. It's in Him that you are Woman Beautiful!
Love and Blessings, Amanda     
                                    

Remembering 9/11 on 9/11/11

Like every other American, I remember, well, what I was doing the morning of the most horrific terrorist attach America had ever experienced. It was a beautiful September morning here in our small Kansas community -- just as clear and beautiful and seemingly peaceful as the skies over New York City. Making the last left-hand turn in my routine morning route as I delivered my youngest child to her second grade school, I heard the announcement come over the radio, "The World Trade Center has been hit by an airplane." A sense of wonder filled my mind as I kissed my daughter good-bye and hurried home to turn on the television. Consumed with what I was seeing, I watched in disbelief as the second plane came into view. What? What is going? This can't be accidental! I remember calling my husband who was already at the office -- asking if he had heard the reports. Concern gripped my heart and mind and an overwhelming sense to pray for the people involved and for America took root.

     I, like many of you, found it very difficult to comprehend that someone could have such deep hate toward us that they would plot a deliberate plan to bring destruction to so many innocent people in the hopes of bringing destruction to a entire nation. Al-Qaeda, meaning "The Base" a Sunni Islamist militant group, (Sunni recognizing them as people of the tradition) is a Muslim movement calling for global Jihad -- global "holy war." The US government responded to this attack on America with an all in War On Terror.    

     Now, 10 years later we're still engaged in the War On Terror and will be from now until forever -- as long as the United States of America refuses to bow down to Al-Qaeda. The real battle has to be fought and will only be won by Christians humbling themselves before God, turning from their wicked ways and seeking His beautiful face. We have no choice but to be on our knees in prayer, petitioning Him for continued protection for this great Christian nation, followers of Christ, Jews and for non-Muslims throughout the world. Today, in honor of 9/11, many have gathered all across our country to pray for the family members of that devastating day and for America -- one nation under God. To quote William Booth, I want to encourage you to "go straight for souls, and go for the worst." As you humble yourself before God, and pray and seek His face and turn from your wicked ways, I want to encourage you to also pray for the Muslim people. Not that Muslim's as a whole are "the worst" but the Islamist militant group that will lie, maim and kill to achieve their purpose and who has a plan to take over the world, dictating every man's religion and law, certainly is! Pray that God would open their eyes and reveal Jesus to them; that they would receive Him as Lord and Savior in order that they would be saved for eternity and changed for His Kingdom purposes in such a time as this. And pray that Al-Qaeda would be confounded and war against itself.

     May the words "God Bless America" never again be said with shallow commitment to God, but rather, may we proclaim His faithfulness to this country with hearts full of honor and worship toward Him.

     Love and blessings, Amanda         

Letting Go Of The Guilt From The Past

Too often we find ourselves consumed with the guilt of past behavior: drugs, alcohol, sexual promiscuity, verbal, physical and sexual abuse, thievery, lies, harsh treatment of others, addictions, pornography, violence, broken relationships, gossip, lust and the list goes on.

As I write, I'm reminded of an incident in which I carried much guilt and perhaps even more shame -- I hadn't realized that until now. If I recall correctly I was about 13. A few friends of mine and I were participating in a local Walk-A-Thon. I believe we were raising money for cancer. One of the girls in our group, who was a couple of years younger than me, was a little thick and had a lazy eye. Even though she was the cousin to a good friend of mine, I really didn't know Donja; a young girl about to enter her teenage years who, unknown by me, suffered with a rare type of bone cancer. Donja's shiny brown hair fell just past her shoulders and the smile she wore very evidently conveyed the joy inside of her. Although our walk that day would take us the three miles from end of town to the other, you would have never known just how difficult that trek was for her.

A little way into our walk, one of the boys began to poke fun at Donja. Actually it wasn't fun at all. It was cruelty and even though it was behind her back, it was destructive all the same. I didn't hesitate to join in. Caught by surprise, my friend, Paula, turned around just in time to witness my contribution to the ugliness. Immediate guilt, shame and embarrassment set in and to this day I have never forgotten it -- Donja died just a few short months later. Over the years my heart has ached every time I've thought about that day. I could have loved on her. I could have encouraged her on in the walk. I could have treated her with kindness and respect. I could have...but I did not.

I've been told that to let go of the guilt is a difficult thing to do. I believe it! My story, compared to that of others is perhaps small and insignificant, but full of shame nonetheless. Isn't that what guilt is? Shame in disguise. Merriam Webster says that shame is a painful emotion caused by consciousness of guilt; something that brings strong regret, censure or reproach.

God certainly has a different plan for the inappropriate behavior that we, often by choice, participate in. Romans 8:1 says, "Therefore there is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus." The reason Christ died is to deliver us from the penalty of our sin(s); to relieve us from the guilt and shame thereof and to cleanse us of all unrighteousness. Because of His death and resurrection, we are automatically forgiven of all of our past, present and future sins. Those we participated in by choice and those that were forced upon us. When Christ said, "It is finished," He literally meant that the consequences of sin had been paid for in full and therefore completely forgiven. God holds them against us no more. There is no reason for us to live in the aftermath of our sin -- guilt.

You might be wondering by now just how it is that you still feel so guilty? One of two truths has taken place and I cringe as I think of what I am about to say. You have either not accepted God's amazing grace full of love and forgiveness or...you have not forgiven yourself. God loves you so much that He gave His only Son so that if you will believe in Him you will receive forgiveness and everlasting life. This is the most profound truth that you and I will ever embrace. God Almighty, the Creator of the universe has forgiven all of your past, present and future sins. And He longs to be intimate with you. Won't you invite Jesus into your life today. (There's a prayer at the bottom of this blog post that will lead you into relationship with Him.)

The later truth, not forgiving yourself, brings sadness to my heart. If the God of the universe can forgive you, then who are you not to forgive yourself. I say this not to add insult to the injury you already carry but to help you see the omnipotent (all powerful) love of God. He is majestic and holy. He is righteous and just. He is absolutely flawless. He is all knowing and all present. He knows the number of hairs on your head. He knows your coming in and your going out; your lying down and rising up; He knows all there is to know about you and He loves you unconditionally. If He can forgive you, shouldn't you forgive yourself?

How? First, if you've never asked Christ to be your Lord and Savior, do so now. His healing will begin immediately. Second, the Bible says, "Confess your sins and He will be faithful and just to forgive your sins and to cleanse you of all unrighteousness," (1 John 1:9). The goodness of God never ceases to amaze me when it comes to His forgiveness and healing power -- an out loud confession brings wonderful changes to any (wo)man's heart and mind. And third, let Romans 8:28 take root in your heart. "And we know that God causes all things to work together for the good of those who love God, to those who are called according to His purpose." When you asked Jesus to be your Lord and Savior, God called you into His purpose. You now have the wonderful privilege of working out your faith which will in turn bring understanding to God's purpose for your life. In that purpose you will find a full measure of joy. And I know that immediately upon praying this prayer, you began to sense the "difference" that He is already making in your life. Your love for Him can only escalate!

Woman Beautiful, I hope that you will dump the guilt that Satan has tried relentlessly to keep you in bondage to. Believe the report of the Lord, God will turn all of your pain and shame into something beautiful for Him. And, all of your past sin will be worked beautifully, miraculously, for your good and...the good of many others.

Love and Blessings, Amanda

Father, God in heaven, thank You for giving Your Son as the payment for my sins. He did die on a cross and He was buried but three days later You raised Him to life again. Jesus, come into my life, be my Lord and my Savior. Fill me with Your Holy Spirit. You alone have delivered me from the guilt and the shame of my past. And You alone give me everlasting life. Thank you. Live in and through me today and everyday. I give my life wholly to You. In Jesus' name I pray. Amen. Amen!

...and Love Your Neighbor As Yourself

as i write this blog from droid, it comes after a five day stay in orlando, florida. im not

getting my keypad to work quite right and it is really bugging me.

we are in a hotel in kissimmee, florida and i can tell thatg its not going to be a very restful night~it cost us $30; that should tell you alot! My husband says I m too paranoid.

I've had the opportunity to experience many parts of the world via the diverse people of this fun city: Vietnam to Mexico to China and England. Kindness has been offered by very nearly every person we have encountered. One man, who was very evidently less fortunate than me, quickly paid the 11 cents I had due on a purchase. Another offered .38 as I took out my coin purse. As I think about leaving, I wonder if I've been as kind as the many that I have encountered. I wonder if I have glorified God? Did they see Jesus in me? I certainly hope so.

Merry Christmas!

It's the most wonderful time of the year, indeed! Holiday excitement is in full swing: decorating homes, buying gifts, baking, planning and partying. I must admit, I am not a big gift giver throughout the year so come Christmas time, I delight in giving gifts; both gifts that are just for fun and gifts that keep Christ in Christmas. If you don't know me, a person might think that I am a commercialized Christmas participant. I even dawn my Santa hat regularly during the month of December.

Just recently, a little girl asked why I was wearing my Santa hat. I replied, "Because I have the Christmas Spirit." She in turn inquired, "Where is the Christmas Spirit?" To which I answered while patting my chest, "It's right here, in my heart."

Many people fail to realize that Christmas really is a heart thing. Or, should I better explain it as a love thing. God's love for mankind came to earth in the form of a beautiful baby boy born some 2000 years ago. There are those who would argue the birth of Christ -- the amazing, sacrifical and unconditional love of Almighty God. A love that has been and will continue to be embraced by many. Truly, this love surpasses all of man's finite understanding and without exception is the greatest love ever expressed.

Squatting to her highth, I spoke with the little girl, asking her if she would like to have the Spirit of Christmas in her heart as well. She responded, "How can I get it in my heart?" "It's easy," I said. "If you will ask Jesus to come into your heart and be your Lord and Savior, He will put the Christmas Spirit in your heart." She stepped in very close to me, turned her body slightly and pressed her head against my face. She then whispered a few words of which I did not clearly understand. I said to her, "What? What did you say?" She replied very matter-of-factly, "I was talking to Jesus."

As I've considered our conversation many times since that sweet encounter, I've been reminded that God is indeed omniscient -- all knowing. It doesn't matter whether or not I understood her brief conversation with Him because He certainly does. And, He knows her heart. Just as He knows your heart. Do you have the Christmas Spirit? Is Jesus living in your heart; has amazing love captivated your total being?

This Christmas Season, it's my prayer that you too will possess the Christmas Spirit -- letting the love of God fill your celebrations with the peace and joy that passes all understanding. If you've never asked Jesus to be your Lord and Savior, I hope you will right now. It's easy, just ask Him.

"For to us a child is born, to us a son is given, and the government will be on his shoulders. And He will be called Wonderful Counselor, Mighty God, Everlasting Father, Prince of Peace." Isaiah 9:6

He is the wonderful, mighty, everlasting Prince who is the Counselor, God and Father of sweet, unexplainable peace.
Love, Blessings, and a very Merry Christmas, Amanda

The Marital Bed, Remade

Today on Lucy Ann Moll's Sisterhood of Beautiful Warriors show we talked about sex: boldly. I hope that I have encouraged both the Christian woman and the non-Christian woman. It's my goal to not only help you enjoy the amazing gift of sex that God has given you and your husband but to also bless you and encourage you in marriage -- growing it into a marriage that withstands the storms of life -- making it rock solid!

It is true, 5o% of all marriages end in divorce. It's my prayer that your marriage will be listed in the statistic of the half that make it. Please leave me a comment about today's show. I really want to hear from you.

If you'd like to order a signed copy of my book please go to: www.womanbeautiful.us - go to the page labeled SERVICES and scroll down to the bottom of the page; then follow the ordering directions.

Love and Blessings, Amanda

Sex, Submission & Spirituality: The Things Men Really Need To Know

It is FINISHED! I hope to have my newest book in stores by winter 2011. I wanted to include a few brief excerpts from it. Please give me some feed back.

"One of Woman Beautiful's main goals is to love her man wholly: without reservation or fear in any area of their marriage. Although she knows that sex holds the second and sometimes first place position on his priority list, it only ranks about sixth, maybe even seventh or eighth, on her list of priorities. It's not that she doesn't love you, it's that she doesn't necessarily love sex." (This is part of the preface/introduction.)

"Outlined in the following chapters are what Woman Beautiful believes to be misconceptions held by her man. These misconceptions are not a reflection on his manhood, only on his knowledge and understanding of women and the differences God created between them." (This too is part of the preface/introduction.)

Sex: Misconception #1: Sex Is the Most Important Aspect of Marriage: "Because sex is so prominent in a man's needs, he sometimes gets it confused with respect. Therefore desiring sex often from his wife is, in his heart and mind, an outward expression of her respect toward him."

Misconception #2: We Can't Have A Good Marriage Without Having Good Sex: "Sadly, many women have experienced negative behavior in the area of sex. To tell her that good sex determines a good marriage grieves her at best."

Misconception #3: If You Love Me You Will Want to Have Regular Sex With Me: "It is safe to say that every man wants his wife to desire him in a red-hot kind of way. Unfortunately, the stress and strain of everyday life inhibits this loving feeling in women. Even though it was her desire prior to and just after marriage, it is more than likely that somewhere along the way, it was lost. Those differences I mentioned in the previous section move her from wanting you to wanting you to leave for a few days just to give her a break; to afford her the opportunity to simply be who she is and do what she wants to do without be concerned with trying to please her husband."

Submission: Misconception #4 To Submit Is To Do Exactly What I Say -- Without Question: "Submission is far more than doing exactly what you say. Heeding your every command is belittling at best. God united you two, giving you the command to become one flesh: one mind; one purpose; one dream; one destiny. Together with one goal: 'to love the Lord your God with all your heart, with all your mind and with all your strength and your neighbor as yourself,' (Mark 12:30-31, NAS). God has purposed both of you to love him with all your being and each other selflessly. And through that love...to love others well. If your woman lives her life feeling like the hired hand, sex toy, entry doormat or cook/cleaning woman, then rest assured that submission is a very bad and negative word in her vocabulary."

Misconception #5: Submitting Means Becoming Who You Think She Needs To Be: "One of the most difficult obstacles women encounter in marriage involves being constantly molded and shaped into what her husband thinks she ought to be. Nothing disheartens a wife more than not being accepted for who she is."

Misconception #6: Submit No Matter Who It Might Hurt or Neglect: "Your woman truly loves you and wants to submit to you. In fact, it is by her Divine design that she longs to submit, especially to you. She cannot, however, if submitting goes against everything that she believes is best for her marriage, her children and herself. If submitting goes against God, her family and those things that are important to her, you will find yourself living with a woman who has become, or is in the process of becoming, bitter and angry; a woman full of hurt, resentment and unforgiveness."

Spirituality: Misconception #7: The Spiritual Side of Our Relationship is Insignificant In The Big Scheme of Things: "I truly believe that the lack of spiritual guidance in the home is the most detrimental of all behaviors toward the family: any family in any home. Husbands and fathers are berated in television sitcoms. They are made to look weak and mindless. Many sitcoms portray them as lazy losers who are incapable of providing for their family. Mom's rule the roost by making the decisions, thinking for the man of the house, and rearing children apart from and often times in direct opposition to his input, wishes or instruction."

Misconception #8: I Have to Make Her Become More Spiritual: "It is indeed your job to help your wife grow spiritually. It begins with accepting her where she's at and loving her in spite of her level of spiritual maturity. If you truly love and honor God and want your wife to be intimate with him, then pray for her. Encourage her without passing judgment. Make it easy for her to participate in women's events. Know and understand her deepest needs and desires and build on those."

Misconception #9: I Have To Make Her Less Spiritual: "I've found in many marriages that one half of the unit is usually far more connected to God than the other half. I've also found that men are more intimidated by women who are more spiritually mature than they are. God's purpose for you as a united team is to bring glory to him and invaluable productivity to your one-flesh relationship."

These excerpts barely scratch the surface of my newest book for men. I hope this little book says to men those things that we women have had difficulty saying to them.

Love and Mega Blessings, Amanda