In Response to "Karen said..."

I want to respond briefly to Karen's comments to my previous blog.

A nice problem to have would be thinking to many positive thoughts. I've yet to meet any woman with that problem. I've come to understand, however, that one of the most difficult strongholds in my life, and lives of many women, is that of negative thinking. Those thoughts that consume us to the point that we are crippled in daily function and productivity. Sad but true, many women spend more time thinking about a bunch of "what ifs" rather than "what really is."

I want to encourage each of you to think on that which really is: you are a beautiful creation of Almighty God; the gifts He's placed in you can be matched by no one esle; God places value in everything that concerns you; the hopes, desires and dreams that you possess have been given to you by Him; and, He has promised to never leave you standing alone: without help, comfort, provision, peace, companionship or even friendship. More than anything, God wants you to delight in His Presence just as He delights in yours.

I would love to be able to tell you that I have had a picture perfect marriage for nearly 23 years. That would be a lie. My reality includes spending many days and nights without my husband and rearing 5 children in a unwanted lifestyle that seemed to be mostly on my own.

John's search for significance took him to race tracks scattered over 8 states. He spent countless hours working on his cars and helping others with their cars. Fortunately for me, I felt the draw of my heavenly Father and joyfully acccepted His invitation to know Him better and love Him more. So for as many hours that I spent without John, I was afforded the opportunity to spend many more with Him and our time together was and stil is priceless!

I must admit, I did go through many hours of negative thinking. I gave John tongue lashing after tongue lashing -- in my mind that is. I wondered why it was so easy for him to be gone for hours and days on end. What was so attractive to him that he could be woed in both his time and attention better than myself or our family. A matter that certainly didn't help: I could identify every woman at any track who viewed John as open game. Knowing that most men entertain flirting, that really concerned me. I clearly remember sitting at the table having my quiet time one morning. While praying I said to the Lord, "What if John has an affair?" The Lord immediately responded, "If I allow it,". I interrupted Him, finishing His sentence, "it will be okay." He simply smiled. Beloved that brought more peace to me than I can express to you. Holy, awesome, Almighty God loved me so much that if He allowed it, if He allowed it, I knew that it would have to be okay. Perhaps very painful, but it would certainly be okay. On that day I quit worrying about the women at the race tracks that John frequented. Instead, I prayed. Thanking God for John's protection, physically, sexually and spiritually. It wasn't long before I became able to identify the times when I doubted God's faithfulness and protection.

Woman Beautiful, if I'm caught up in negative thinking it's because I'm really doubting Him. I want to encourage you to know God better and love Him more. Identify the doubt you have and pray, "Lord I believe, help my unbelief."

Regarding, wifely responsibilities. I believe that every woman, Christian or non-Christian, has these responsibilities: responding positively to his sexual desires, planning and preparing meals, cleaning house, holding her husband accountable, praying for him, and respecting him. I realize that in today's society, the roles of husbands and wives, men and women, have been grossly destorted. The reality is men don't know if they're supposed to decorate the house or mow the lawn and women don't know if their supposed to work outside the home or care for the family. Sadly a very perverse sexual revolution and women's lib catapulted the ideas that women needed to be treated as men. Consequently, both genders are now very confused about their identities.

I know, many will argue, "I work too so he can help with the household responsibilites." I do not disagree with that, but I believe that it is the woman's position in the relationship to manage the home. For me, and hopefully for you it includes not doing all the cooking and cleaning, but doing most of it and by all means managing it if others help. I love it when John cooks for us, be it on the grill, scrambled eggs with toast or dinner out. And I know from his mealtime prayers and words of thanks that he appreciates when I cook for the family. It really concerns me when I hear young wives and mothers say, "I don't cook." I think, "What?!@#!? What do you mean you don't cook? What does your family eat?" And we wonder why we are battling childhood obesity?

There was a time in our marriage that John demanded that I cook 3 meals a day. I didn't always delight in the work, but I look back now and feel very good about the way I fed my family. Now, 23 years into our marriage, John often says, why don't we just get drive through so you don't have to cook. I shout "Woohoo!" on those days.

Over the years God's has enabled me to take my negative thoughts captive, trusting Him. He's encouraged me to become the woman, wife, mother, friend and now grandmother that He created me to be. My ride has been full of twists and turns, ups and downs, joys and sorrows, but one thing has remained the same, God's love and faithfullness. I am forever indebted to Him not only for the cross but also for all that He does and continues to do on my behalf and on behalf off all that is important to me.

Let the joy of the Lord be your strength. You are Woman Beautiful!

Love and mega Blessings, Amanda